Sometimes I wonder about celebrating endings and think about how to have more awareness about these times. I don’t remember the last time I held my kids on my hip or the last time things that we take for granted might occur. I think that birthdays should be celebrated on the last day of whatever age you are.
This moring I woke up and thought that this is the last day I’ll have my own right breast. I decided to celebrate the day and had the best mother’s day I ever could have hoped for. My son brought me a GIANT plate with the following:
2 containers of yogurt
A dish of peanut butter
A dish of cottage cheese
A partially toasted english muffin
A granola bar that had been kindly unwrapped
A huge glass of orange juice.
I ate SOME of this fantastic breakfast in bed with him encouraging me and watching me. We went upstairs before I dug in so I could show him how to make me a cup of coffee; a skill that every child should be able to do for their mother.. along with foot rubs.. I digress.
I reclaimed my space and my beautiful bedroom along with my son; we’d traded about a year ago. He helped me move furniture all day and my daughter came by to help also and she hung pictures on the walls.
My wonderful skater / girlfriend / angels Frida and Marcelle came over yesterday and cleaned my house to help me prepare for recovery and that was the reason I was able to dig into the rest of it today.
My back is sore and my feet are sore but I’m pretty sure that it will fit right into mastectomy recovery tomorrow so not a worry. I’m glad I took the time to have a productive day. When I come home this week my room will be bright and colorful; my house will be calm and will be a wonderful place to heal.
I don’t know why but I am happier than I expected to be right now.
I love being here and I am grateful for this day – with the awareness that it is the last day to have a Mother’s day while my son is 13. It’s the last day to have my body intact but tomorrow will be the first day of my new healing life. I’m committed to making it be the best life that anyone could hope for.
I’m ready to connect to the world and receive all of the love that is being extended to me now by so many wonderful people. I feel like there are no mistakes; this is all what is supposed to be happening.
BRING it; let’s get this thing over with so I can skate for the rest of being in my 50’s. And maybe even longer, who knows?